“The Call”

There are moments when whatever the attitude
of the body, the soul is on its knees.
~Edith Wharton

It was a cloudy, gray morning. The edge of the bed was soft as I sat facing the upstairs bedroom window. The graceful pines stared back at me from atop their knoll. I held my phone in a hand that was clammy and cold. I was sure the call I was about to make would make or break my sanity.

Linda answered the phone. My heart raced. I explained who I was, that we’d met once before on another matter, and that she had impressed me. Then, off I launched. “Well, I’m calling to discuss something unusual that I need help with, and I thought of you right away. My husband has Alzheimer’s, and I’m no longer able to leave him home alone. I’m looking for someone to help me several times a week, to stay with him so I can leave. The only requirement is to just be a companion and keep an eye on him. I’d ease you in. He’d balk if I left right away, so we’d set it up that you’re coming to help me clean the house. We’d do that together several times, until he’s used to your presence. I’d only start leaving once you’re comfortable with our routine, and the way he operates. At this point, he’s a gentle sweetheart who just needs watching. Sooooo, I don’t know if this is anything you’d be interested in, but.…”

Breaking in, her confident voice said, “I can tell you right now, that.…” and in a flash, even before more words flowed, I knew it to be no. She was sparing me from nervously spewing more needless information. At that ever-so-memorable dark, horrible moment, I believed my very life was over. All-encompassing despair consumed me. I could not, could not, keep doing this all by myself. “…I want to do it. I think it sounds interesting, and I’m willing to give it a try.”

Vivid jolts of joy, relief, and disbelief jangled as one throughout my body. I want to. Those three words would forever change the trajectory of my life. I want to. Those three words were going to save me. And Linda did.

Honest emotion: Saved